The word Yoni comes from Sanskrit, and refers to the whole genital area of a woman. It is also much more than that, being a sacred space and regarded as a symbol of the goddess Shakti. There is no real equivalent in the English language that expresses the beauty and sacredness of Yoni. In fact, our culture does not give us a comfortable equivalent for talking about the Yoni. The language options are either clinical-sounding, vulgar, or vague euphemisms and baby talk.
Female sexuality in our culture
Our language tends to reflect the confused attitudes we carry around sexuality in our culture. This particularly applies to female sexuality. On the one hand, our culture abounds with messages about how desirable it is to look and act sexy. On the other hand, it possibly has an even greater volume of messages around how shameful and embarrassing actual sex, and the body, are. Many women are brought up to believe that pleasure in sinful, and the expression of their femininity and sexuality is dangerous or wrong in some way. Whilst at the same time they should be hot in bed… it is like pressing the brake and the accelerator at the same time! It is no wonder many women are confused and hurt when it comes to exploring sexuality. On top of this, our mainstream view of sexuality is based on a long heritage of masculine dominance. This skews the arousal model in favour of what the men think works for them. Read more about ways we limit the pleasure we can feel.
In some ancient cultures, female sexuality played an important role in sacred ceremony and ritual. Over time, as these cultures became conquered and eradicated or assimilated, repressing sexuality became the norm. This heritage today still feeds much of the shame, guilt and dis-empowerment that women can feel in regards to their sexuality. As a result, many women today have had unpleasant or even traumatic sexual experiences. These range from rape and incest to the more everyday occurrences of having sex before being fully aroused, not being able to say ‘no’ to an unwanted experience, or tolerating unwanted or unpleasant touch.
Yoni massage – what to expect?
The massage sessions are held in a safe and private space. The consultation period can take as long as is necessary for the client to share whatever she feels is important about her background and journey, and will be heard. The space is quiet and beautifully presented. All aspects of the session are explained thoroughly before the start of the massage. A meditation and connection rituals help to honour Shakti in her space and for her to connect with the practitioner in a loving and respectful way. This paves the way for the woman to be able to start to feel safe, so she is able to more easily let go and explore whatever comes up in the session.
Full body massage
During the full body massage which is offered as part of the session, judgemental attitudes, beliefs or memories may surface. The practitioner is able to work with the client to help her process anything which comes up. In this way, anything which is no longer wanted can start to be let go of. It may also be that the client feels pleasure, or some physical discomfort, an emotional response, or nothing at all in areas which have gone numb. Boundaries are respected at all times and the client only receives touch to those parts of her body which are OK for her to be touched. By receiving deep bodywork on different parts of the body in a conscious way, anything which has been suppressed has an opportunity to be felt, accepted and let go of or integrated. This can be deeply healing to the client.
An important part of the full body massage is the pelvic and groin area – often not thoroughly covered in conventional massage. There are many nerve endings and channels for veins and arteries which lead into the pelvis. In addition, all of the major acupuncture meridians pass by this area. They help to carry energy to the vital organs in the body. It is important to remove any blocks to the free movement of energy, so that the organs remain healthy.
A Yoni massage is offered as part of the session and is an art in and of itself. The client is able to feel into whether this is something that she is ready to receive at the time. Often, this is the most emotional part of the treatment because there tends to be the highest amount of unprocessed emotions stored in this area. As with the rest of the body, it is likely that there will be areas of pleasure, discomfort, emotion or numbness. There may be some knots inside the Yoni, and some areas may start to feel hot. The practitioner holds the space in a loving way for anything which may come up and helps the client to process it. This is done by using breath and other techniques which are taught in the sessions.
A Yoni massage can help with such conditions as inability to experience orgasm, vaginismus and dyspareunia, or painful sex.
Although orgasm is not the goal of the treatment, it is also possible that the client will experience a lot of pleasure and may have an orgasm, or many orgasms.
Moving the energy
Once enough blocks have been cleared from the body and energetic pathways, it is possible to experience the movement of the life force energy through the body. This is a healthy practice, as it helps to rejuvenate the organs, glands and nervous system. This helps the body to enhance its own healing capacity. Clients are also taught breathing and other techniques to start to circulate this energy through their own body, and can be supported with starting a daily practice if that’s what they wish to do. Read more tips on giving a good Yoni massage.
I offer sessions in Teesside/ North Yorkshire (within easy driving distance of Leeds, Newcastle, York and Durham), and London. Read more about tantric massage treatments.