Premature ejaculation – what can be done?
Premature ejaculation (also known as PE) is when a man ejaculates quicker than he, or his partner, would like to, often leading to feelings of dissatisfaction. PE can be primary, meaning it occurred at the first sexual activity, and went on to persist throughout a person’s life. Secondary PE can be developed at any point of a person’s life, and occurs after having had normal ejaculatory function. Premature ejaculation is very common, and is thought to affect up to 1 in 3 men at some point of their lives, although estimates vary.
The causes of premature ejaculation can vary, and can be physical, psychological, or a combination of both.
It is thought that low levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin may play a role in PE. Low testosterone or a hormonal imbalance may also contribute to, or cause, PE. Taking medications may help to correct these physical imbalances in the body. If you have PE and suspect that this may be the case, you can speak about it to your GP.
Psychological causes vary widely. These include worrying about body image or performance, previous negative sexual experiences or even sexual abuse and issues within an existing relationship. Cultural beliefs around sexuality are also often negative, and can lead to feelings of shame and guilt around sexual experiences. These can be so strong as to limit the amount of pleasure that can be experienced, leading to PE.
Erectile dysfunction (also known as ED) can also sometimes be a contributing factor, as men who find it difficult to get, or maintain, an erection sometimes develop PE too. As ED can also have either physical or psychological causes, it is a good idea to address these too.
How tantric therapy can help
Tantric therapy sessions can help address PE in two main ways. The first is addressing any underlying psychological causes. The second is learning and practicing specific techniques that can help delay ejaculation. PE is common, and I work with many clients on this issue. My clients are often surprised to realise that they are able to not ejaculate for much longer than they are accustomed to.
One simple way to help with PE is to slow down and take more time to relax the body. Combining this with breathing more deeply can greatly increase the amount of time before ejaculation occurs. Relaxation and deep breathing can also help to open the body to feeling more pleasure, making it easier for sexual energy to spread from the genital area to other parts, and therefore reducing the urge to ejaculate.
Many men have simply gotten into the habit of masturbating quickly. During the lingam massage, clients are able to learn new masturbation techniques, as well as ways of slowing down and taking more time over self-pleasuring. This can both lead to a more fulfilling masturbation experience, as well as helping to last longer when being intimate with a partner.
Learn new techniques
There are numerous different techniques that can be learnt and practiced that may help with PE. The extent to which they help can vary from person to person, and it is worth trying a variety to see what works for you. Breathing techniques, pelvic floor exercises, and becoming more aware of the arousal rate through practicing the stop-start method are some ways to manage PE. As this can often be a sensitive subject, leading to much anxiety, learning good communication skills for talking about this with prospective, and existing, partners can also be beneficial in reducing the amount of stress and the pressure to ‘perform’.
PE can sometimes be caused by body image issues or anxiety about sex. These issues can be addressed in sessions, taking time to identify underlying beliefs and looking at ways of dealing with, or changing them. This can enable for more positive sexual experiences to occur. Performance anxiety can also be addressed by learning new tips and skills for improving love-making, and creating a safer space for intimacy to take place.
I offer individual and couples’ sessions in Teesside/ North Yorkshire and London. Read more information on tantric therapy sessions for men.