An Epidemic of Pleasure Limitation
Published on December 12, 2018
What Is Pleasure?
The term “pleasure” originates from the Old French plaisir, meaning “to please.” It encompasses feelings of happy satisfaction, enjoyment, and sensual gratification. Despite these positive connotations, many individuals experience anxiety when feeling arousal in their bodies. Some struggle to find a healthy balance, oscillating between over-indulgence and avoidance. Western cultures, influenced by longstanding Christian traditions, often harbour body-related shame, leading to discomfort with bodily-derived pleasure even today.
Experiencing Pleasure
Pleasure is perceived through our five senses and internal bodily sensations. Touch, a primary avenue for experiencing pleasure, is often fraught with difficulty for many. This struggle extends to both feeling and expressing pleasure, with some individuals even experiencing anxiety in response to pleasurable sensations.
Pleasure and joy serve as powerful tools for healing, fostering a sense of wholeness, and mitigating trauma symptoms. Yet, mainstream medicine seldom acknowledges pleasure’s role in health and recovery. Nonetheless, it remains a vital component in addressing illness and pain.
The Sexual Landscape
- Woman giving herself sensual touch
Sexuality is a domain where many encounter pleasure limitations, constituting a modern epidemic. Manifestations include bodily numbness, hypersensitivity, compulsive behaviors, or complete avoidance. A prevalent issue is the inability to remain present during lovemaking, with individuals often retreating into thoughts or fantasies.
Women may experience pain or numbness in their yonis, hindering orgasmic experiences. Men might face challenges like premature ejaculation or pornography addiction. There’s a notable correlation between restricted sexual pleasure and a diminished capacity to experience pleasure in other life areas.
Understanding Pleasure Limitation
Self-imposed pleasure restrictions often stem from learned behaviours, such as hesitancy to express desires due to fear of rejection or ridicule. Many prioritize others’ needs over their own, equating self-focus with selfishness. Feelings of unworthiness further impede the ability to receive positive experiences. Additionally, a lack of education about the body’s pleasure potential and cultivation methods contributes to these limitations. Pleasure opens the doors to healing, both sexually and beyond.
Anxiety and Arousal Challenges
Individuals anxious about experiencing pleasure often have nervous systems conditioned to associate arousal with shame or anxiety, perceiving it as unsafe. This association develops through repeated experiences, such as women enduring pain during intercourse (dyspareunia) or men facing embarrassment over erectile difficulties. These patterns reinforce themselves, making sexual enjoyment increasingly elusive.
Our brains and bodies react based on accumulated past experiences. An over-sensitized nervous system may interpret arousal as a threat. The encouraging news is that this response can be unlearned.
Healing Through Tantric Bodywork
Tantric bodywork offers a holistic therapeutic approach. Sessions guide clients toward rediscovering bodily pleasure through conscious breathing, sound, movement, and deep tissue massage within a safe, supportive environment. Clients learn to reconnect with their bodies, fostering a renewed capacity for pleasure.
I offer sessions to individuals and couples online and in Teesside / North Yorkshire / London.
Article updated 14th April 2025