Erectile Dysfunction: Causes & Tantric Treatment
Erectile dysfunction, or ED, is the most common presenting issue I see with my clients. It ranges from occasional to permanent, and affects millions of men in this country. As far as I know, all men have had the experience at some point in their life of wanting to have, and not being able to, get an erection. Read more about the definition of erectile dysfunction from the NHS.
The Many Roots of Erectile Dysfunction
While it’s tempting to look for a singular cause of ED, the truth is often more complex. Physiologically, erectile dysfunction can be linked to various health conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular disease, or hormonal imbalances like low testosterone. These issues affect blood flow and nerve sensitivity — both of which are critical for healthy erectile function. Long-term use of certain medications, particularly those for depression and hypertension, can also diminish libido or interfere with arousal.
However, what often goes overlooked is the profound impact of psychological and emotional states. Anxiety, chronic stress, depression, and trauma can all disrupt the intricate hormonal and neurological pathways responsible for arousal. Performance anxiety is a common trigger. A single moment of self-doubt or pressure to “perform” can create a feedback loop of worry that ultimately shuts down arousal altogether. These mental patterns are often exacerbated by societal expectations, cultural taboos around male vulnerability, and even the unrealistic portrayals of sex in media and pornography. Read more about the psychological causes of erectile dysfunction on WebMd.
In today’s hyper stimulated world, another emerging factor in ED is the overuse of pornography. Many men have become desensitized to real-life intimacy due to years of exposure to fast-paced, highly visual content that hijacks the brain’s arousal circuitry. This can result in what is now being referred to as Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED), where the mind becomes conditioned to artificial stimulation, making it difficult to achieve or sustain arousal in authentic, human connection.
Did you know? Erections aren’t necessary for ejaculation to happen
The Shame That Silences
Perhaps one of the most damaging aspects of ED is the silence that often surrounds it. In many cultures, a man’s sense of worth is closely tied to his sexual performance. When difficulties arise, rather than seeking help, many men retreat inward — carrying the burden of shame and inadequacy alone. This emotional isolation only deepens the psychological root of the problem, further entrenching the dysfunction.
It is within this context that tantric therapy becomes a powerful tool for healing. Unlike conventional medical treatments, tantra addresses the totality of a person — body, mind, emotions, and energy. It recognizes that sexuality is not separate from the rest of life but deeply interconnected with one’s mental health, emotional well-being, and spiritual identity. In this sense, ED is not simply a malfunction to fix but a message to understand. It is an opportunity to slow down, tune in, and reconnect with parts of the self that have been numbed, ignored, or wounded.
How can Tantric Therapy Help with Erectile Dysfunction?
Talk about it – Although this is changing, there is still much stigma around talking about ED. There can be a lot of guilt and shame about not being able to get, or maintain, an erection. Many of my clients share that they no longer feel ‘like a man’. Talking about the issue can help to start to let go of some of these negative feelings and beliefs. I do not judge you and opening up about those things you don’t normally share with others can be therapeutic it itself.
Improve blood flow to the area – Physical massage of abdominal and pelvic areas can help to increase the amount of blood that can enter the lingam.
Strengthen and release pelvic floor muscles – Weak and tight muscles can both make it more difficult to get an erection, and to feel pleasure in the area. In order to re-sensitise the pelvic area, it is important to work on improving the muscle tone. This is done through massage and recommending exercises you can do outside of sessions.
Prostate massage – The prostate gland is an important part of the reproductive system. Receiving gentle massage to this part of the body can help with erectile function. Read more about the benefits of prostate massage.
Lingam massage – Receiving a lingam massage can help to remove any physical blocks, improve blood flow, and re-sensitise the area. Learning the practice of separating orgasm from ejaculation can also help to keep sexual energy in the body.
Sensitize the body and raise sexual energy – Waking up and sensitizing the whole body can help to build arousal and sexual energy in the body. This can help to get, and maintain, an erection. Breath is an important part of this work – read more about the power of breath in tantric therapy.
Address underlying beliefs – Psychological beliefs are often blocks that stop erections from happening, and lower the amount of pleasure we can feel. Tantric therapy sessions allow clients to mindfully witness these beliefs, and choose to change them.
Did you know? Popular ED medications such as Viagra and Cialis can exacerbate the problem in the long run
Drop goals and expectations – This is a difficult one for most people, and in some ways counter-intuitive. However, often by focusing on the goal of ‘getting an erection’, can make this less likely to happen. Learning to be in the present moment, and enjoying whatever is happening, tends to be a more successful strategy.
Tantric education – Learning to move energy through the body, expanding the amount of pleasure that can be felt, and prolonging love-making can all help to take the focus off getting, and maintaining, an erection. Learning semen retention techniques to ejaculate less frequently can also help with improving erectile function. Allowing it to come and go as the energy moves through the body can take the pressure off. I can help you to become comfortable with talking about ED to existing and prospective partners, taking much of the social shame and stigma out of it.
What if the Erectile Dysfunction is Permanent?
In some cases, the ED can be permanent, such as, for example, after a prostatectomy operation. This should in no way, however, signal an end to intimacy or a satisfying sex life. Not being able to have an erection does not mean an end to feeling pleasure or arousal in the body. If this is the case for you, tantric therapy can help you discover new ways of relating intimately with yourself and others.
Further Information
I offer tantric therapy sessions online, in Teesside/ North Yorkshire and London.
Updated May 2025